Transitions & Adjustments
Wednesday, June 05, 2013
The last three weeks have, obviously, been full of changes and adjustments. With any big life change, like our move, there are always changes, transitions, new routines to figure out. I knew that - I know that change brings transitions and allowing time to work out new rhythms and ways of doing life together - but it's still been a little bit of a challenge for me.
Change has never been easy for me. Maybe it's never really easy for anybody, I don't know. On one hand, I love that we moved across the country, and are in a new place, a new state, with new places to explore, and new adventures to be had. And on the other hand, it's hard to be in a new place, not knowing anyone, being unfamiliar with the area, adjusting to life here and now. It's been both fun and fresh, hard and uncomfortable, all rolled into one big ball of new.
We might be settled in our house, but we are slowly adjusting to being here. I get that it will take time to feel established here, to meet people and make friends, to get involved and feel a part of the community. I know that it takes time, and I'm trying to be patient in that.
The biggest challenge I've struggled with so far is Max's schedule. He's in school, which means he leaves early in the morning, and gets home in time for dinner. He then has to spend 2-3 hours studying after dinner, usually right up until he goes to bed, because of course, the next day brings the exact same thing. School is going well for him, and he is really enjoying it. I love that his brain is being stimulated, and I can see how excited it makes him to be learning at this level again. I think what is hard about his schedule, is that I was used to something different in NC - I was used to a schedule where he was able to leave work at work. He was able to come home and be fully present. Here, while in school, I am having to adjust to having him around less - he can't come home at the end of the day to help with household tasks and help/spend time with the kids - he has homework and studying he's got to get done. It's not a bad thing, and it's nothing we didn't know coming into, but it's still taking me some major adjusting!
I know it will take some time to adjust to, and I know, in the next few weeks, that we'll continue to figure out a daily routine that allows for us to feel like we get some quality time with Max each day. I am trying to give myself grace as we work it out - and come up with ways that I can recharge during my days, so that I don't feel so overwhelmed by everything that happens on a daily basis. I am also trying to focus on the positive - that although we don't get much time with Max everyday, we still get to see him, and we get to be here in CA with him. Plus, our Saturdays are precious, precious days for family adventures and quality Daddy-kid time, that doesn't happen during the week.
I knew, when Max enlisted in the Marine Corps, that change would become a very frequent visitor in our life. Knowing that doesn't mean I am always ok with change, or that I adjust to new situations easily or quickly - although I am learning how to be better at it, and what it looks like to make the most of the change that is given to us.
Change can be hard. But I have learned that if we seek to embrace and learn from it, change will, more often than not, shape us into better, stronger, wiser people.
5 comments
That school schedule is rough. We've been doing the flight school thing for over a year now! It's nice to have them around (as in, not deployed) but studying really eats up their schedules.
ReplyDeleteOh, my friend, I hear your heart. Transition and change is SO HARD!! Most often worth it, but it doesn't change the fact that there can be many tears in the meantime. I will pray for you when I think of you!! xo
ReplyDeleteYou wrote about it with such grace. I admire you and the hard work you're doing to be a great mama and wife! I will be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteI wish so much I could jump and skip and a hop and be with you to make it not so hard. Long hours are no fun no matter the job or position. I know it's hard to look at the light of the end of the tunnel when you're up to your neck in toddlerisms and baby spit up :-} knowing too that you're other half needs to dedicate himself to something other than family for a while all to care for and provide. Its tough. But your heart is oh so in the right place. Just keep looking up and email or blog when you feel the need to let loose some of that frustration that's built up. BIG HUG to you sister!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog and please let me know if you have any other questions about things to do. I can tell you that the study time does get better (both NPS and DLI spouses will tell you this!) and once you get used to Monterey, it really is a great place. I wrote a post in May with all the links to trips/activiites we in our two years. I can send you the exact link if you can't find it. I also know the Marine wives at NPS were super close (I actually went to some of their functions because they did such a good job getting together), I can put you in touch with some ladies I know. Also, check out 'creatively blooming' on my side bar- Jenny and family are still stationed there!
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