I feel like a slacker on blogging, but I haven't felt like I have had anything super interesting to share. We have been busy gathering items for the little man, hanging out with the family, celebrating my Mama's birthday, prepping for a small party we're having tomorrow and finding fun things to fill our September with.

I've had some minor things ruminating in my brain - lessons that have been percolating within me. The other day, I toured the hospital I would be having the little man in. Aimee came along (thanks Aimee!!!), which was awesome, seeing as she (and my mom and a few other friends!) will be there with me as I pop this little guy out. But as we were walking through the halls and checking out the rooms, I got so tired thinking about going through labor. I felt like I had JUST been in there, doing the same thing. Which, I suppose is true - it was only 10 months ago that I was at the hospital, delivering L. And then I started thinking about what it would be like to have TWO babies - and I got overwhelmed! It's definitely going to be a transition. But as much as I know it will be challenging and there will be days that I just want to cry, I am getting so excited to meet the little babe that is growing in my belly - to see his little face, to hold him, to get to know what he is like! I can't wait! And I am excited to see how L reacts, to see them bond, to experience it through her little eyes!

The other thing that happened while we were taking our little hospital tour, was I let myself get sad. As much as I am so thankful that I have such amazing friends and family that are here for me, that support me, that are going to be there with me when I give birth, I still miss Max. Sometimes it all just hits me - the fact that he won't have ever seen me pregnant with the little man, never felt the baby kick, never have gone through a birth with me - that he can't be here to hold my hand or see his baby being born - and sometimes it just feels hard. And I feel alone. Even though I know I'm not. Far from it!

I know I shouldn't complain - I know I am so blessed. But that doesn't mean that somedays aren't hard - especially with all these whacky preggo hormones running through my body! And I don't want to whine about Max being gone. I know that God knows exactly what He's doing and that I need to trust His plan through all of this. I know that this deployment only serves as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to practice patience.

Although, at the same time, I am going to be so incredibly glad when Max gets to come home and we can be together as a little family - for the first time! I am so eager to live with him (can you believe I've never actually LIVED with him?! THAT is going to be quite the adventure - with TWO babies, no less!!!!) and to figure out life with him, together.

Wow. I feel like this is such a random post. Titled cornbread, no less. That's funny. I don't know if I am even being coherent!!! Oh well.