I've known this day was coming for months now, and I've been walking around with a lump in my throat and ache in my chest for weeks.  But the day has come now, faster than I imagined and anticipated.  And I'm left standing here, with 4 kids, who only sort of understand what this means for them and for our family.  They get that Daddy is going to work, for a long time, but what that actually looks like in their little minds, I have no idea.  

I can do this, there is no doubt, nor is there a choice.  I, and the kids, will be just fine.  But that doesn't mean it's my favorite or my first choice.  I am so thankful Max has a job he loves, and that he is good at that job, but this military life can still be challenging and hard.  And I feel that a lot in these moments.  

I hugged and kissed and said "see you later" to our very favorite person in the world this week.  I stood and waved as the bus drove off, then collected our things, and went about our day.  I will put away his shoes and clothes and keys at home, and start to find our new normal, our rhythm, our routine for this time apart.  I will pray for and think about my love constantly until the day comes when I can hug and kiss him again.  

It won't be easy, but nothing worth it ever is.