There goes my heart...Friday, March 31, 2017
I feel such a mix of emotions on departure day. On one hand, there is such joy and honor, as I send my man out to do what he loves to do. He has worked and trained so hard, for something he is passionate about, and that makes me happy. And yet, watching him get on that bus breaks my heart in two, with half driving off to a destination halfway across the world.
I've known this day was coming for months now, and I've been walking around with a lump in my throat and ache in my chest for weeks. But the day has come now, faster than I imagined and anticipated. And I'm left standing here, with 4 kids, who only sort of understand what this means for them and for our family. They get that Daddy is going to work, for a long time, but what that actually looks like in their little minds, I have no idea.
I can do this, there is no doubt, nor is there a choice. I, and the kids, will be just fine. But that doesn't mean it's my favorite or my first choice. I am so thankful Max has a job he loves, and that he is good at that job, but this military life can still be challenging and hard. And I feel that a lot in these moments.
I hugged and kissed and said "see you later" to our very favorite person in the world this week. I stood and waved as the bus drove off, then collected our things, and went about our day. I will put away his shoes and clothes and keys at home, and start to find our new normal, our rhythm, our routine for this time apart. I will pray for and think about my love constantly until the day comes when I can hug and kiss him again.
It won't be easy, but nothing worth it ever is.