Z-man update and a song.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Yesterday proved to be a challenging day for me.  I woke up with the idea that we would get things done, and although we did, it didn't turn out at all the way I hoped.  Just goes to show that my ways are not the best and that I need to lean on God, because His ways will always be better.  I thought that we would be able to go see the lovely people at the burn center yesterday or at the latest, today.  But upon calling insurance, I found out I would have to get a referral from our usual Doc.  No big deal, except that in order to get that referral, we had to go see the Doc yesterday.  Of course, there were no appointments until the afternoon.  At the Doc, we unwrapped his hand - it's not any better than Tuesday night at the ER - BUT it's also not any worse.  There are no new blisters and it's still swollen pretty big.  It still does not seem to bother him much.  We re-dressed and re-wrapped it up.  The Doc agreed that it would be good to go to the burn center, so she called into the burn center and had the insurance referral taken care of - we go on our adventure to Chapel Hill tomorrow and see someone in the afternoon.  So that is where things are at with Ezzy.  I am hoping that tomorrow we will be able to find out how we can treat his hand, so that it heals nicely, and maybe get some answers as to what may have caused it, although that may be impossible - I am leaning towards the ointment or the bandaids that we put on it.  He must be allergic to something and then had a reaction.  It's just crazy how the reaction caused his hand to be burned!  At least we will know to be more cautious in the future!  Poor little buddy has been such a trooper and I am so thankful that it has not shown any sign of infection or caused anything else to happen to his little body!  

This whole ordeal has been harder on me than I realized.  The lack of sleep, the back-and-forth to the hospital, the worry about my babe, the waiting to get answers has been emotionally testing.  Sometimes the weight of responsibility feels so heavy - knowing I have to be strong and brave for Ezra.  Sometimes I feel so inadequate, so small, like I can't get anything right.  Being a mama, being a wife - it's hard work, it's not easy.  And when I try to lean on my own strength, I always come up short.  I always fall flat on my face.  I always fail.  And yet I still try to do it by myself, to trust in my own abilities.  I am thankful that God gives me much grace.  And repeatedly picks me back up and reminds me that He's got me, that He is my ultimate and only strength, that He will fill me with all that I need to get through each and every moment, whether challenging or easy.  I woke up this morning feeling irritable, frustrated with myself, and overwhelmed.  I wanted to crawl back in bed and hide from the world.  But there were certain little people in the room next door that kept calling out for me.  So I got up and as we were getting ready, I started humming and smiled at the song that had come to my mind and began resonating in my heart.  I know I have shared this song before, but it's a good reminder to me, and I pray it's a good reminder to you as well.
(Feel free to skip her talk at the beginning - the song starts at 0:48)

{linking up with Goodnight Moon}

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  1. Beautiful song! I don't think I've heard anything by her before so I might have to go looking. Thank you so much for sharing and I pray your little one heals quickly.

  2. Lady you are so strong and such a beautiful woman of God. Praying for your fam!

  3. Wow, you guys sure have had a rough go of it! Hope things look up for you soon!

  4. praying for you and z
    and the song was just what i needed to hear after a LOOOONG day with noah filled with pretty much NO naps, more crying than i could imagine. i love you lady!!



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